Finding an OfficiantSelecting an officiant these days is like shopping for wedding shoes. The Internet seems to be replete with directories and websites that are geared towards simplifying your search. With the number of choices out there, how do you decide which one is the best fit for you?
What is an Officiant?
An officiant is a person who officiates a ceremony. This does not mean that the person has had any formal religious training or has been conferred with the title reverend, pastor, or bishop.
Many ministers are call officiants. However, the word takes the religious connotation out leaving it empty and void of spirituality. When I am referred to as an officiant, there is a great deal of respect that is removed at the sound of the word. Since the term wedding officiant is popular, I have to market myself using the term so that couples can find my ministry.
In my opinion, the word was derived from the role of those who received their ordinations online for the sole purpose of performing someone’s wedding. Most officiants who received such instant ordinations, have no religious training, affiliation to any religious organization, nor confess to any particular religion. And some of them, surprisingly, are agnostic and even atheistic.
They believe that the term wedding officiant separates them from mainstream ministers. However, some churches and local courts have rejected online ordinations thereby not permitting recipients to sodomize marriages in their sanctuary or county jurisdiction. The process of self-ordination is viewed (by many) no differently than buying a degree online.
Selecting a Wedding Officiant or Minister
Ordination (check their websites for this information, ask to see their certificate at the meeting, check if they were self-ordained),
Authorization (check their authorization to perform a Virginia Wedding or a DC Wedding),
Flexibility (how flexible are they about making changes to the ceremony script),
Training (how many years did they study to become a minister, is there any proof of their training),
Presentation (do they preach the homily or speak eloquently – a DVD helps, but viewing one can be time-consuming for a 1 hour meeting),
Recommendations (contact recommendations because not all reviews are valid),
Rehearsal (do they attend, and will they coordinate the rehearsal in the absence of an event coordinator),
Cost (is their fee inclusive or is there a separate fee for everything),
Experience (how many years of service do they have),
Number of Weddings (you only need to know if they perform at least 25 wedding/year, any more than that is irrelevant)
Professionalism (at the meeting check out their appearance, body language, and presentation),
Communication (is the person easy to talk with, and does the person respond to emails and phone calls),
Venue (find out if the church your wedding is held at has any requirements for outside ministers)
Backup Minister (No one can guarantee a backup minister, when they are in route to your wedding. Ministers are not cab drivers, accidents happen causing beltways to shut down. So try selecting a minister that is closer to your venue. If you are given a verbal guarantee about a backup regardless of the circumstances, then you have been given false hope.)
Weddings are too important to miss. Therefore, no shows and tartness is not an option. Dependability is a must. If you have any forebodings leading up to the day of your wedding, don't dismiss them. Ask your minister to arrive earlier than usual. And to ameliorate your anxieties, you may even give him/her a particular time. Some ministers (not all) will comply and respect the fact that your feelings are valid. Once the fire is out, be ready to give him/her a generous tip to show your appreciation.
Trust your instincts (does the person seem unscrupulous to you).
Most couples I meet don't question my credentials, they operate on blind trust. Their thinking seems to be that all ministers are honorable. And if not, that's between them and God.
However, try to remember that scams are everywhere, even in the wedding industry, and even in the religious community. And a wedding draws people from all walks of life and a criminal minded person can reap the benefits of being present at your wedding and reception in more ways than one.
So keep in mind, it is easy to become ordain by way of the Internet. But without training, people stay true to who they are and their old ways resurrect when an opportunity is placed before them.
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Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
DC Wedding Minister, MD Wedding Officiant, VA Marriage Celebrant
202.253.3629
mailto:revsjb@comcast.net
http://www.startum.com/wedding.htm
©2009 All Rights Reserved
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