This weekend I met with 4 couples, and I officiated one same sex marriage in Washington, DC. Even though, I enjoyed meeting and serving every one of them; two couples stood out. The first couple wed at a local hotel in DC. And at the end of their wedding, the lady/groom gave me a big hug while whispering “we really appreciate you,” in my ear.
The second was a straight African American couple. The bride said to me at the conclusion of our meeting that she was glad to read of my support for marriage equality. At that moment, the walls of fear that were built around me suddenly shattered. These walls had been created through the incorrect reporting by the media on the African American stance on marriage equality. And those walls were reinforced by my own fear of religious reprisal from the opposition.
Sure there are those in the African American religious community who are against same sex marriages, as in every racial community in this country. According to the 2009 US Census the African American population in this country is 12.9%, White 79.6%, and Latino 15.8%, etc. As you can see, the African American votes, alone, could never bring a victory (for or against) any law.
So what is really missing? And why aren't there more LGBT supporters showing up at marriage equality rallies, meetings, and mixers? Is there a lack of interest, lack of awareness, fear of reprisal, or religious training that keeps them away? The National Organization for Marriage (an anti-gay marriage group) preaches messages of opposition from the pulpits and radio stations with regularity. Their information is being disseminated over the internet, newspapers, billboards, mailings everyday to support their cause. This group has made allies with most (if not all) religious Americans.
And supporters for marriage equality need to form the same kind of alliance with supporters from all ethnicity. Using the civil rights movement of the 60's may not level the playing field in gaining African American support. Making interracial people feel guilty because of antiquated marriage laws, may not sway their support either. As well as showing religious leaders and church goers that their interpretation of biblical scripture is wrong, for God is love, won't work.
There is a way to reach all people who are sympathizers of marriage equality. And I believe it is through educating them. Most heterosexuals and many (religious and non-religious) gay and lesbians are not aware of the intricate issues of this movement. And disseminating information to enlighten them is paramount.
In the past, I spoke with a lesbian religious leader and was told that she did not believe in two people of the same gender getting married. Therefore, she would not officiate same sex marriages. This was shocking to me. And to date, I get calls from lesbians supporting that same belief and questioning my position on the issue.
People need to be educated, and slogans like, “I love who I love,” “Standing on the Side of Love,” etc. don’t drive the message of injustice home.
"Equal but not Protected,” "Marriage Matters," makes a big difference.
So let me share some facts on this issue in hopes of educating some of you. I want you to understand why same sex couples want marriage protection.
Nolo Law: Marriage Rights and Benefits, http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/marriage-rights-benefits-30190.html. This is what's missing in the life of committed same sex couples and heterosexual couples who don't tie the knot.
U.S. Census Bureau: (State and County Facts), http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/index.html. This will let you know the racial ratio state by state. So you know that African Americans cannot stop change.
David Kaufman article was very inspiring to me "The Root: The Misjudged Black Vote On Gay Marriage," http://www.npr.org/2011/03/04/134257733/the-root-the-misjudged-black-vote-on-gay-marriage. That's why I wrote this blog.
Senate Bill 116 (Civil Marriage Protection Act) can be read at: http://mlis.state.md.us/2011rs/bills/sb/sb0116t.pdf, http://mlis.state.md.us/2011rs/billfile/sb0116.htm.
It is my hope that you will join me in prayer (anytime) and become a supporter for marriage equality. Equality Maryland needs your help in making this a reality. http://equalitymaryland.org/
So join the fight, don't stand on the sidelines waiting for others to make your life better, become part of history by getting involved.
Laws change people and their opinions all the time. The religious leader that I spoke about, changed just as soon as the DC marriage equality law went into effect. She now wants to marry her partner, and she's willing to perform same sex marriages.
Tearing down walls, start with people changing the minds of others.
posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
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