Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns

Clergy United in Support of Marriage Equality in Maryland

2012-02-12T01:06:00.055-05:00

Many clergy came together on Friday, February 10, 2012 in support of our gay and lesbian people to legally marry in Maryland. Pictured here is the first group. Others came later to give their testimony.

Some of us were there from 1:00 pm until 12:00 midnight waiting to testify in favor of HB 438. My testimony was at 7:45 pm. And I arrived at 2:30 pm for a 3 pm - 4 pm time slot.

Here is my testimony.

I am, Rev. Starlene Joyner Burns of SJB Ministries LLC in Bowie Maryland.

When I started my ministry in 2006, it was to serve everyone without a church home; including our gay and lesbian people. My ministry serves those needing pastoral guidance, spiritual healing, relationship coaching, or officiating service for their nuptial.

Because of this work, I can tell you today, that there is no difference between gay relationships and straight ones. Gay and lesbian couples have the same problems, same hopes, same dreams; that straight couples have for their relationship and their family.

The only thing that’s missing here in Maryland is that they cannot legally get married and provide the kind of protection that a marriage certificate brings.

Yes, that piece of paper that's so meaningless to some.   Has a whole lot of meaning for those who can't get it.

Can you image being with someone for 30 years and that person was suddenly taken out of this world. Try to keep in mind that she’s the sole provider. And you had nothing to worry about, other than taking care of the family.

The mortgage was paid every month, all the bills were paid on time, including the kids' college tuition, your credit cards, and that expensive car note.

In a heterosexual marriage scenario, like this one; the financial fear wouldn't exist, because the surviving spouse would know of her entitlements. Other than grieving the lost of her spouse, she would still have health insurance, survival compensation, a house that becomes hers, and all the bells and whistles that go with being a widow.

In a same sex couples relationship, survival benefits don't exist. There would be no health insurance to roll over, no social security, no pension, and definitely no retirement benefits to collect from the lost of a partner.

That’s why; we need this change.

While these protections are vital to families, marriage is about a whole lot more.  Marriage makes families stronger.

It allows two people the opportunity to stand before their family and friends and make the public commitment to take on the responsibilities that marriage affords.

God created all of us to be equal, straight, gay, lesbian.

We’re all created in absolute perfection.

I support this bill because it recognizes that religious freedom and marriage equality go hand in hand.

Therefore I hope you pass HB 438, and make Maryland an equal and just state.

Thank you

The end
_______________________________

To all our gay and lesbian people;

I can only pray that you do not lose hope in religion and do not associate religious equality leaders with those who oppose your divine self.

God loves all, and does not discriminate.

Man is the only being on earth who is capable of destroying a race or a group of like minded people.

I'm not asking you, right now, to forgive those who have persecuted you.

But I am asking you to start the healing process, by forgiving yourself for feeling shame, unworthiness, frustration, and even hate that has been created within you by those claiming to represent our caring, giving, and loving God.

For this I am grateful.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

© 2012 SJB Ministries LLC

“Grant Marriage Rights, Not Rites”

2012-02-07T23:13:00.002-05:00

When Governor O'Malley introduced the Civil Marriage Protection Act of 2012, faith leaders from many denominations enthusiastically stood by him in support. As ordained ministers, we do as well.

Under the Governor's proposal, no church or religious institution would have to marry a gay couple. In other words, nothing changes from the way things are now. We have refused to marry straight couples in the past, and will continue to do so in the future even if same-sex marriage becomes law.

So, we say to our concerned congregants: Your church isn't going to be forced to perform gay nuptials.

Our gay and lesbian people are not asking to marry in a church that does not embrace their belief or culture. They're asking for the right to go down to the courthouse and obtain a marriage license. This right is the only thing the Governor's proposed legislation creates, nothing more and nothing less.

But what happens in church is not really what this debate is all about.

Gays and lesbians are asking to be able to go down to the courthouse for a marriage license, which is the only thing the Governor's legislation calls for.

Committed and loving gay and lesbian couples want to give their kids the legal protections that marriage offers.

Currently, children in straight households live under one set of laws while the children of gay families live under another set of laws. That's wrong. We are all children of God, and every child deserves to be protected equally in the eyes of the law.

People understand that marriage builds a family, but they also comprehend that couples don't decide to get married for the rights and benefits. Straight, gay and lesbian couples choose to marry because they value commitment, love and companionship.

Marriage is about two loving individuals standing up and making a public promise of lifelong commitment and responsibility. This is why the government should make way for stronger families through marriage.

Our understanding of scripture is that God loves and embraces us all. We are called by this compassionate God to ensure the promise of love and equality under the law for all families. Let's do right by our gay and lesbian neighbors, friends, family and co-workers - and their kids. It's time for all families to be treated equally under the law. It's time for marriage equality.

by Rev. Angela Shepherd and Rev. Starlene Joyner Burns

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter

202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/gaymarriage.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
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Gay Weddings in DC, MD and VA with Rev. SJ Burns

© 2012 SJB Ministries LLC

Another Round to Win Same Sex Marriage in Maryland

2012-02-06T15:47:00.004-05:00

As much as I would love to stay on top of all the latest weddings trends, I have to focus some of my attention on the marriage equality issue in Maryland. This topic is important and very close to my heart.

And there is no better way to kick off the new year than to do it with a press conference. Governor O'Malley started the year off right by the introduction of a new marriage equality bill called the "Civil Marriage Protection Act of 2012."

This bill as before, provides protection to religious organizations, churches, and clergy who do not want to serve same sex couples.

And I had the opportunity to speak at a press conference on January 24, 2012 at Governor O'Malley's mansion in support of this bill.

And on January 31, 2012, I spoke again at the press conference following the Faith Leaders Prayer Breakfast.

Ministers are uniting for this cause. Because we recogize that our gay and lesbian people need our help to bring equality to Maryland. And we are not giving up until justice is equal.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns

Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister

Marriage Equality Supporter

202.253.3629

revsjb@comcast.net

www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

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Weddings in DC, MD and VA with Rev. SJ Burns

Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT) DC Marriage Special

2011-09-27T13:49:00.014-04:00

Rev. Starlene Joyner Burns an award winning wedding officiant and supporter for marriage equality will be showing her support for the ending of DADT by performing free personalized elopements and signature rituals for all active military same gender loving couples who are ready to tie the knot in Washington, DC.

You can book your free wedding anytime. Ceremonies will be held Monday - Friday, 3 pm - 4 pm in the District of Columbia. Offer ends November 10, 2011.

And if you need assistance in processing your DC marriage license, Rev. Burns will process that for you for a small fee.

Then all you have to do is show up in Washington DC and tie the knot.

Ceremonies will be performed by appointment only (location will be disclosed to the couple).

To book your signature ritual or elopement (limited to 4 guests) and to arrange for the processing of your marriage license; call 202.253.3629 or email Rev. Burns revsjb@comcast.net.

Phone calls are received Monday - Friday, 11 am - 7 pm EST.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/dcgayweddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Weddings at the Swann House Bed and Breakfast

2011-09-23T02:35:00.004-04:00

Each time I am invited to officiate a wedding at the Swann House, I know that it will be an elegant affair. It does not matter the size of the wedding, Rick the Inn's manager, always creates a welcoming environment.

The Swann House is across the street from a doggie park, and close to the White House, DC tourist sites, National Zoo, DC Convention Center, Kennedy Center, and more. They even got a swimming pool.

I would recommend this venue for an intimate weddings for two or a medium size weddings with up to 75 guests to all. And if you need an officiant for your fabulous event, call me.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Getting Married in DC "Holiday Inn Georgetown "

2011-09-11T17:43:00.007-04:00

This hotel is nestled in a beautiful affluent section of Washington, DC. So from staying - to enjoying your wedding; Georgetown offers an array of pleasure pleasing opportunities for you and your guest. The nightlife of this city buzzes with jazz, while the Kennedy Center is live with performances, and the food choices are pleothera. You can explore the sites of Washington DC, Virginia, or Maryland during the day; and enjoy your evening relaxing by the DC waterfront. Therefore, I have no problem recommending this venue to you.

I toured this place and saw all it's attractions, the rooms, suites, banquet halls, and restaurant, are all well decorated. So think about booking your stay or wedding at the Holiday Inn Georgetown.

Tell Ingrid, you found their venue on Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns.

If you like, you can have an elopement in the gardens

of Montrose Park or the Georgetown Waterfront near Sequoia.

Of course there are many locations in DC for a beautiful elopement,

I'm just sharing with you what's within blocks of this venue.

If you are ready to start your wedding or elopement plans, call me Rev. SJ Burns, 202.253.3629.

For your venue, stay, and catering needs (10 or more guests) call Ingrid. Her contact info is below.

Ingrid Gregory

Director of Catering

Holiday Inn Georgetown

2101 Wisconsin Ave, NW

Washington, DC 20007

(202) 338-3120 ext. 7260

FAX (202) 338-4458

ingrid.gregory@higtdc.com

http://www.higeorgetown.com/

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter and DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Join me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Gay Marriage in New York - Court Clerks Quit

2011-07-18T04:48:00.001-04:00

It's been a while since I wrote about gay marriages. After the Maryland marriage equality bill was tabled for another year, my enthusiasm disappeared. And with the win in New York last month, my momentum started returning.

New York has taken the position of being the 6th state to offer same-gender loving couples the opportunity to wed. Yes, gay marriages will be happening in New York on Sunday, July 24. This is great news, and I'm happy for all New Yorkers who have waited years for this to happen.

However, there is a sadness to this great victory. Court clerks are quiting their jobs because they refuse to sign marriage licenses for same-gender loving couples or perform their ceremonies. These are some bold city clerks, for them to think that pubic discrimination is ok, is just insane.

With them quiting their jobs, they open the doors for a pleathor of officiants ready to work. And I'm one of those gay friendly officants ready to perform my job. I got my authorization to perform marriages in New York on July 12. Why you might ask, because I love my job, and I love what I do. And it's my way of showing support for my same-gender loving families.

I'll be in New York on July 26. If you're thinking of getting married on that day, send me a message. I'll be in Manhattan.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent

DC: 202.253.3629
NY: 315.292.6732
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.
© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Destination Wedding "Washington DC"

2011-07-15T23:53:00.004-04:00

From Australia to DC this handsome (biker) couple, Jason and Benton, decided that Washington DC was the place for their elopement. They had planned a world tour of the US with DC being the first stop. And on April 26, 2011, this couple said their vows under the beautiful sky of Malcolm X Park.

I'm glad they decided that I would be the one to officiate their wedding and walk them through the DC marriage license filing process. They were able to get a wavier of the 3 day waiting period. How sweet.

I took some of these pictures. The ones that show creativity, of course.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.
© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Change, Change, Change "Father and Daughter Dance"

2011-05-15T18:07:00.003-04:00

Congratulations Kim & Ted!

This couple tied the knot on May 1, 2011 at the Adelphi Mills. There was an overcast in the sky that day and a little drizzle softly touched their guests with the blessings of God, Spirit of Life.

Later, Kim and her Dad captured their guests’ with this little number.

No, this is not one of those boring father and daughter dances you always see. This bride left nothing to chance, she covered everything every carefully; from the timing of everything, to the ceremony words that included a chance of rain, and even this little choreographed dance with her father.

This video would be awesome if taken by a professional videographer.

But it's not about quality, it's about having a good time with family and friends.

Venue: Adelphi Mills

http://www.pgparks.com/places/eleganthistoric/adelphi_intro.html

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Like SJB Ministries LLC on Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8

Follow me on Twitter
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns are gay friendly.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Circle of Love - Rachael & Kristin's Big Day

2011-04-01T03:52:00.007-04:00

DC was not too far away for these two love birds. Travelling from Pittsburgh they tied the knot in our Nations Capitol at the Arts Club of Washington on March 18, 2011. The weather was perfect for their elegant and small affair.

Rachael and Kristin were surrounded by their closest and dearest family. Each person had an opportunity to participate in a blessing stone ritual. The family imbued their individual wishes for the couple into a stone. Rachael and Kristin collected the stones and placed them around their unity candle. As the couple lit the candle their family wishes went forth into the Universe.

This was followed by the family encircling the couple to represent completion, family unity, and strength. Rachael and Kristin recited their vows within a circle of true love.

From the hearts of Rachael and Kristin

"Our family is a circle of strength and love.

With every birth and every union, the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more love.

Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger."

Arts Club of Washington DC
2017 I St., NW
Washington, DC 20006
202-331-7282
http://www.artsclubofwashington.com/csite/photos.htm

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Like SJB Ministries LLC on Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8

Follow me on Twitter
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns are gay friendly.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Costco Selling Wedding Gowns & Wegmans Selling Floral Designs

2011-03-21T15:11:00.008-04:00

I thought I would share this article. The author says that Costco is not only snatching the budget brides away from small companies, but also the big spenders.

Costco and wedding dresses: Costco says 'I do' to selling wedding gowns - fox59.com

And Wegmans Woodmore is also in the wedding game. They are offering formal floral designs at rates that can drive a small florist out of business.

Sure these companies bring needed jobs to the community, but they are also taking business away from those who have depended on neighbors like you to support their establishment.

So what will you do, continue supporting small businesses or the corporate giants? You can support the corporate giants for what they supply Wegmans (groceries), Costco (bulk items). And you can continue supporting the small businesses for their products or services.

Don't trade in, stay committed to supporting those you like. They have a family to feed and take care of just like you.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Like me on Facebook & Follow me on Twitter
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

History Stalled "Civil Marriage Protection Act on Hold"

2011-03-12T21:35:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, the road to marriage equality in Maryland ended with a vote to recommit the bill back to the House Judiciary Committee. This news crushed the hopes and dreams of many same sex couples in Maryland who felt their time had come to be treated equally.

There are those who believe that the bill stands a better chance of winning next year when the committee takes another look at it. Supporters of the bill want to know how their delegates are going to vote. And this past Friday, there were some uncertainty in about that.

This stalemate has thrown many supporters off their game. However, Equality Maryland vows to use this time to regroup and come back a stronger advocate to win marriage equality in Marryland.

So keep supporting Equality Maryland. They need your continued help.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Like me on Facebook & Follow me on Twitter
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.
© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Equal but not Protected "Tearing Down Walls"

2011-03-07T16:37:00.064-05:00

Last week, the Maryland House Judiciary Committee voted 12-10 in favor of HB 175 "Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act." This means that the same sex marriage bill (SB 116: Civil Marriage Protection Act) will move to the House of Delegates for a vote. If the bill passes by the majority, then same sex marriages will become legal in Maryland once the governor signs off on it.

This weekend I met with 4 couples, and I officiated one same sex marriage in Washington, DC. Even though, I enjoyed meeting and serving every one of them; two couples stood out. The first couple wed at a local hotel in DC. And at the end of their wedding, the lady/groom gave me a big hug while whispering “we really appreciate you,” in my ear.

The second was a straight African American couple. The bride said to me at the conclusion of our meeting that she was glad to read of my support for marriage equality. At that moment, the walls of fear that were built around me suddenly shattered. These walls had been created through the incorrect reporting by the media on the African American stance on marriage equality. And those walls were reinforced by my own fear of religious reprisal from the opposition.

Sure there are those in the African American religious community who are against same sex marriages, as in every racial community in this country. According to the 2009 US Census the African American population in this country is 12.9%, White 79.6%, and Latino 15.8%, etc. As you can see, the African American votes, alone, could never bring a victory (for or against) any law.

So what is really missing? And why aren't there more LGBT supporters showing up at marriage equality rallies, meetings, and mixers? Is there a lack of interest, lack of awareness, fear of reprisal, or religious training that keeps them away? The National Organization for Marriage (an anti-gay marriage group) preaches messages of opposition from the pulpits and radio stations with regularity. Their information is being disseminated over the internet, newspapers, billboards, mailings everyday to support their cause. This group has made allies with most (if not all) religious Americans.

And supporters for marriage equality need to form the same kind of alliance with supporters from all ethnicity. Using the civil rights movement of the 60's may not level the playing field in gaining African American support. Making interracial people feel guilty because of antiquated marriage laws, may not sway their support either. As well as showing religious leaders and church goers that their interpretation of biblical scripture is wrong, for God is love, won't work.

There is a way to reach all people who are sympathizers of marriage equality. And I believe it is through educating them. Most heterosexuals and many (religious and non-religious) gay and lesbians are not aware of the intricate issues of this movement. And disseminating information to enlighten them is paramount.

In the past, I spoke with a lesbian religious leader and was told that she did not believe in two people of the same gender getting married. Therefore, she would not officiate same sex marriages. This was shocking to me. And to date, I get calls from lesbians supporting that same belief and questioning my position on the issue.

People need to be educated, and slogans like, “I love who I love,” “Standing on the Side of Love,” etc. don’t drive the message of injustice home.

"Equal but not Protected,” "Marriage Matters," makes a big difference.

So let me share some facts on this issue in hopes of educating some of you. I want you to understand why same sex couples want marriage protection.

Nolo Law: Marriage Rights and Benefits, http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/marriage-rights-benefits-30190.html. This is what's missing in the life of committed same sex couples and heterosexual couples who don't tie the knot.

U.S. Census Bureau: (State and County Facts), http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/index.html. This will let you know the racial ratio state by state. So you know that African Americans cannot stop change.

David Kaufman article was very inspiring to me "The Root: The Misjudged Black Vote On Gay Marriage,"   http://www.npr.org/2011/03/04/134257733/the-root-the-misjudged-black-vote-on-gay-marriage. That's why I wrote this blog.

Senate Bill 116 (Civil Marriage Protection Act) can be read at: http://mlis.state.md.us/2011rs/bills/sb/sb0116t.pdf, http://mlis.state.md.us/2011rs/billfile/sb0116.htm.

It is my hope that you will join me in prayer (anytime) and become a supporter for marriage equality.  Equality Maryland needs your help in making this a reality. http://equalitymaryland.org/

So join the fight, don't stand on the sidelines waiting for others to make your life better, become part of history by getting involved.

Laws change people and their opinions all the time. The religious leader that I spoke about, changed just as soon as the DC marriage equality law went into effect. She now wants to marry her partner, and she's willing to perform same sex marriages.

Tearing down walls, start with people changing the minds of others.

posted by,

Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Like me on Facebook & Follow me on Twitter
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.

© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Standing for Equality - Civil Marriage & Protection

2011-03-01T14:42:00.016-05:00

"With the fight in the state senate behind us, the equal marriage bill is likely coming to a vote in the House of Delegates this week. Gov. O'Malley has already committed to signing marriage equality into law, so passing the bill in the House of Delegates is the last step to achieving equal marriage rights for all Marylanders.” Mark Anthony Dingbaum, CREDO Action

Many of our LGBT friends and family are waiting for all of us to help them gain the same liberties we have. So help make Maryland a free state by calling your delegate today. Let them know just how important your friends and family are to you. Otherwise, your silence will kill their dream for equality and a proud family life.

I’m supporting my friends and colleagues. I hope you will support yours. So call or send your delegate a message (link provided below).

http://equalityfederation.salsalabs.com/o/35015/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=212

You can read House Bill 175 at: http://mlis.state.md.us/2011rs/bills/hb/hb0175f.pdf

From the mouths of youth, wisdom flow.

God Bless all of you for taking a stand.

posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.

Marriage Equality in Maryland

2011-02-20T19:13:00.024-05:00

I know my support for marriage equality have sent many straight couples fleeing from my webpage while questioning my religious integrity. However, my actions are divinely inspired by my love for God and my commitment to serve humankind. I believe in equality for all, because there should never be a privilege class. These feelings are drawn from my own personal experiences as an African American.

When two people are committed to each other and want to raise a family together; no power on earth can ever prevent that from happening. Same sex couples want the same rights that many of us take for granted everyday.

gettoknowusfirst.org

We don't have to worry about not being able to make a critical life or death decision for our spouse.

We don't have to worry about being denied access to him/her during urgent care.

We don't have to worry about getting on our spouse’s health insurance plan; if one should lose his/her job.

We don't have to worry about paying an inheritance tax if our spouse should die.
We don't have to worry about getting survival benefits if one spouse leaves this world before the other.

I believe that God did not call me into service to discriminate against others. God surrounded me with those who needed my support. And it was not meant for me to abandon them because of my own fear of reprisal. On December 25, 2008, I had a dream that showed me the division of churches regarding this issue. In that dream, I saw myself united with other religious leaders in support of marriage equality.

So help me to change the way same gender families are seen. Try seeing them no differently than your own. And keep in mind that it's about equal rights and protection in a Free State.

Would you deny equal rights to someone? I ask this question of everyone; those who know and those who don't know the pain of discrimination or the feeling of being ostersized.

Want to help bring change to a Free State, please take action. Follow this link: http://actions.friendfactor.org/o/8563/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=184

posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns supports marriage equality.
© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

A New Year & A New Beginning

2011-02-14T00:47:00.022-05:00

Elizabeth on L was the hot spot for Chip and Frankie's big day. January 9, 2011 was full of love, joy, happiness, and fun for this happy couple.

I was blessed to have the opportunity to be Chip and Frankie's minister. It was easy to see by all the love and support of their family and friends how they became the people they are today.

Their note really touched me.
"Starlene, thank you again for being an integral part of our special day. Everyone had such glowing things to say about the ceremony. We truly appreciate it. You have definitely found your calling. Take care! Chip & Frankie"

©2011 Frankie & Chip Photographs

Erin Steigerwalt Photography
http://www.erinsteigerwalt.com/
419.606.8118

Elizabeth's on L
Washington, DC
202.347.8040
http://www.thecateringco.com/

posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

All vendors featured in Washington DC Weddings with Rev. SJ Burns are gay friendly.
© 2011 SJB Ministries LLC

Jennifer McMenamin Photography

2011-02-05T23:10:00.011-05:00

May 30, 2010 was a perfect sunny morning in Georgetown and a precursor for a beautiful wedding. Bruce and Chris were tying the knot in a small garden celebration surrounded by their closest family and friends. And this is where I met Baltimore photog Jennifer McMenamin. She was hired by the couple to capture every smile, every tear, and every expression of joy that permeated the air on their special day.

Gay marriages had just begun blooming in DC. And Jennifer was there with an open heart and an open mind. She truly personified her commitment to the arts by bringing her creative flair to this couple’s marriage in a collection of beautiful images that they will admire forever. So I am showcasing her work from this wedding and more, as a way of saying; I like her style.

And here's what Bruce and Chris has to say about Ms. Jennifer.

"Jennifer was great. She was very relaxed and easy to work with. Most people didn't notice she was there. The pictures were great. We were very happy we hired her. The post processing on the pictures was good.

Her approach was to follow us throughout the day and I thought that worked very well. We were much more comfortable with her. We dont show people the pictures of us getting ready in the hotel but they are my favorite. It helps us remember the entire experience rather than just the ceremony. "

To see more of Jennifer's work, visit her website.

Jennifer McMenamin Photography
http://www.jennifermcmenamin.com/
Serving MD, DC, VA, and surrounding areas
410.746.3843

posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
Marriage Equality Supporter & DC Marriage License Agent
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

Wedding Planning with Wedded Bliss, LLC

2011-01-30T02:12:00.007-05:00

When a planner becomes a friend, after the wedding is long over, it says a lot about the person and her commitment to those she serve. I have referred quite of few couples to Wedded Bliss, LLC (WB); because I know that they will get the quality, attention, and service they deserve.

Veronica Butler, Lead Consultant has always been my point of contact, and I find her and her associates to be elegant, stylish, detail oriented, time conscious, and professional women. These ladies are always on top of their game.

I remember saying to a couple, I think they have little people working around the clock that I never get to see. Because when I arrive, these ladies are always ready, dressed, and doing their jobs. I have never seen them unprepared, disorganized, setting up, disheveled, or running around in their casual clothes making excuses for why things are not on time.

The Wedded Bliss staff has never disappointed me or anyone I have referred. They believe in starting on time, even when I say; the couple has 1/2 hour grace period.

I enjoy working with Veronica and all the ladies of WB. And what I enjoy most about this company is that the staff is always the same. Seeing the same faces help me to create that personal bond that makes my job easier and worth doing.

Here is what they say at Wedded Bliss:

"Planning a wedding can be stressful! So why not let us handle all the details of your very special day and take your stress away!"

This company has been in business for over 10 years, with a trained staff to ensure that your special day is elegant and stylish, while maintaining your ideal budget.

And here is what one of my couples said after using their service:

"My husband and I were very lucky to have Veronica as our wedding coordinator. She was my planner and my friend during the planning phase. She is well connected to get you the vendors that you need. The best part is that she is actually affordable! She extended herself above and beyond and we appreciated that. I plan to use her for any other event I could find. A definite hire for your event, you will not regret it!" Naneki

I like that “above and beyond.” And I have heard this more than once from couples I've referred to this company.

If you would like to learn more about WB, call or visit them.

Veronica Butler
Wedded Bliss, LLC
301.210.5332
240.417.4265
weddedbliss2@aol.com
www.weddedblissweddings.com

Posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant, Ordained Minister
and Marriage Equality Supporter
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

Dennis Drenner, Wedding Photographer

2011-01-23T13:02:00.031-05:00

I worked with this photographer on November 27, 2010. The wedding was held at one of Washington DC's beautiful historic Inns. And since the couple wanted to maintain their privacy, I saw no need in keeping Dennis a secret. Showcasing his photojournalist style is worth sharing with all.

This photog has more than 20 years experience as a photojournalist. Photographing weddings is just one of his many passions.

Dennis Drenner, Wedding Photographer
Phone: 301-437-6972
http://weddings.dennisdrenner.com/

Serving Baltimore, Washington DC, Northern VA and more

Posted by,
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
Court Authorized Officiant & Ordained Minister
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
http://tinyurl.com/2erhsp8
http://twitter.com/#!/revsjb

Beware "Flowers, Flowers Everywhere"

2010-12-24T22:17:00.027-05:00

With Valentines Day approaching, flowers will abound on every street corner, every grocery store, and every florist. All of them will be ready to supply the demand.

But wait a minute. Will all these flowers be the same? Is a rose really just a rose; but with a different color? These are just a few questions I had, so I asked a few florists. At first I was only curious, but when I got evasive answers I decided to do a little digging.

My probing took me to Fall River Florist Supply website. After perusing it, the fire that fueled my curiosity, quickly abated. They covered the difference between flower farms (breeders), the quality of flowers from soil to soil, the post-harvest process, the unknown age of cut flowers, the refrigeration during and after shipment, and the delivery.

They explained everything I wanted to know. Now, I look at flowers differently. And so will you.

www.fallriverfloristsupply.com/content.php?page=fresh_cut_flowers

In the past; I have purchased flowers from street vendors, grocery stores, and warehouses. I would pick them with care; inhale their aroma; then take them home. Once there, I would prune their stems on an angle to bring water into them, add a dash of bleach and a pinch of sugar to the water to keep them alive.

The next day to my chagrin I would find half the lot drooping. What happened were the words echoing through my mind? It does not matter that I only spent $5.00 for 6 roses or $10 for a dozen. What mattered was that I spent my money and time on an inferior product.

Too often people go for convenience, and a florist who has the expertise, artistry, preferred suppliers, and equipment for proper storage; may not be in every town or on every block. So go the extra mile and find a florist that you can relate to and rely on for all your celebratory needs.

Your florist number should be readily available just like your doctor, veterinarian, or best friend.

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
DC Superior Court Authorized Officiant
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2010 All Rights Reserved

If you have any comments, I would like to hear them.

Silent Flames - Beauty and Danger

2010-09-03T12:30:00.014-04:00

I have officiated at many weddings, baby celebrations, and other sacraments. And when candles are lit to illuminate the space, all the other decorations come alive. The water glisten, the flowers brighten, and facial expressions soften.

The silent flickering flames quickly removes the danger of fire from the minds of a select few. I recently did a wedding where the florist created a beautiful walkway of staggering glass columns. Each vase was filled with water to the brim while the candles floated gently above a sea of exotic plants. Seeing the aisle decorated this way was not my first time. But it was the first time I had seen the candle flames above the rim of the glass.

I took my concern to the florist immediately. After telling her that some of the water needed to be removed from the cylinders so that the candle flames would be lower; she replied "that's what the couple wanted, so let me check with the wedding planner."

Minutes later, nothing had been done. So I sought out the planner myself and place the perils of the situation at her feet. And of course, she needed to speak with the florist. When she returned, she said, “in order to lower the candles the florist would have to break down the arrangement, and she’s not going to do that.” Meanwhile, the danger persisted. So one of the guest, fearing for her safety, put out a set of candles next to her seat.

Noticing this, the planner saw that was probably the best option. Minutes later, the florist arrived and extinguished the rest of the candles.

How could the florist not be mindful of the danger she had created.
How could she walk away from a warning saying “that's what the couple wanted?”

When a couple sees something they like, they expect a professional to educate them about the best way to use their idea in creating a dream wedding.

They also expect a professional to use good judgement (common sense), and not just deliver a product while jeopardizing the safety of others.

So know who you are hiring. Don’t always go for the cheapest, because the cheapest may lack the expertise of a sage professional.

Hire someone who has your best interest in mind as well as the integrity of their business.

So here is my question to those reading this Blog.

If someone was harmed as a result of the florist negligence, who would have been liable?

Select one or more:
the venue, the couple, the florist, the planner, or all

Kindly post your answers.

Thanks,

Rev. Starlene Joyner Burns
Authorized Wedding Officiant
202.253.3629
www.startum.com/officiant.htm
www.startum.com/dcmarriagelicenseagent.htm

Trusting the Unknown

2010-04-08T01:06:00.026-04:00

Now that DC has marriage equality, it needs to revamp the marriage license process. Everyone wants that 3 day waiting period to go away!

Meanwhile, ads are popping up with catchy phases like:

"We will process your marriage license for you."

Now there may be a valid reason for this service, but should you trust the source?

Is putting your confidential information in the hands of an unknown that easy?

You have read articles about it, so trusting your confidential information to someone you meet on the Internet is no different than trusting someone you meet on the streets.

IDs are stolen all the time, and the below information just makes it easier.

1. Social Security Number
2. Date of Birth
3. Address
4. Valid Identification (birth certificate, drivers license, passport, military ID)

When I am asked for such information to perform a prison marriage; I don't comply. I have no idea whose hands that information is going to be in. Moreover, it was a chaplain at a mid level security facility who warned me to never provide my confidential information to anyone.

The marriage license application asks for the same kind of information that is required to run a background check. And if you are not sure what that entails, cut and paste the link below in the address field, and take a look. http://www.dccourts.gov/dccourts/docs/family/marriage_license.pdf

I can understand why couples from out of town would want to find a trusting source to handle their sensitive data. And since vendors are competing for business, unscrupulous characters will start to horn in on this virgin turf.

The easy way this time may not necessarily be the best way.

So make coming to DC a road trip, a short vacation, a time for reflection, meditation, or preparation for the future.

I have been a minister in the Washington DC Metropolitan area since 2004. And I have officiate more than 450 weddings. Since that time, I have never been asked to initiate and process the marriage license until same sex marriages became legal. And this is not a service that I provide under my ministerial title.

However, my business, Another Choice Virtual Assistant Services, can act as a marriage license agent for any couple in need of that kind of assistance. You can find us at www.mydcva.com, and we will be happy to work as your agent.

Furthermore, we will do everything we can to keep your confidential information protect until it is handed over to the clerk of the court.

So you decide what is best.

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
DC Superior Court Authorized
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm
www.mydcva.com

©2010 All Rights Reserved

If you have any comments, I would like to hear them

DC Same Sex Weddings

2010-03-11T11:27:00.009-05:00

Will Gay Marriages Really Increase DC’s Revenue?

DC always finds a way to run potential wedding couples away. First it was the blood test and the five day waiting period. This sent couples to VA where they could get married immediately or to Maryland. And couples like that who really wanted a DC marriage; would have their weddings (commitment ceremony with proof of their marriage) in the District of Columbia amongst their family and friends.

Now, DC has a new dilemma. Same sex couples will try to bypass the requirement just like heterosexual did, but in a different way. They will get married in DC (private ceremony) and then have their commitment ceremony in a neighboring state.

I receive calls from people asking if their DC marriage license had to be used in DC. My answer is always an affirmative, yes. I make no exception to this rule. However, I let all of them know, that they can have a commitment ceremony in MD or VA and have a marriage ceremony in DC. That suggestion appeals to many couples, especially those trying to save money with an all inclusive package offered at some of MD venues. However, it does not appeal to those who really want their marriage performed and celebrated in DC.

Once Maryland starts to recognize same sex marriages performed in other states including DC, DC will have some stiff competition. Most couples will have their weddings in Maryland and their marriages performed in DC.

This will leave DC receiving the stats and fees for these marriages, but not the expected revenue. However, many same sex couples who want to move to DC after marrying here; says, "all the money should go to DC. DC legalized it, so DC businesses should profit from it, not Maryland and definitely not Virginia."

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
DC Superior Court Authorized
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2010 All Rights Reserved

If you have any comments, I would like to hear them.

Ceremony Do's and Don'ts

2009-07-09T12:23:00.026-04:00

Proper Etiquette

The processional - when walking into the church or venue, it is proper not to greet your guests. So there should be no waving, hugging, or blowing kisses. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging them with a nod of recognition.

During the ceremony it is proper etiquette for the bride and groom to show the love they have for each other by gazing into each other’s eyes, gently touching one another, and showing their devotion by paying attention.

Talking during the ceremony and ignoring the words of the pastor is disrespectful. There are times, however, when talking is appropriate and even some light humor, so use discretion.

Giggling a lot is seriously offensive to the minister. Your pastor may think that you are not ready for marriage. Therefore, he/she may be stopped the wedding or may chastise you on the seriousness of your commitment, before continuing.

Readers or wedding singers should face you during the ceremony and not your guests. Your wedding is not a time for them to showcase their talents. It is a time for you to be serenaded, while basting in the spotlight of change. It is advisable that your guests not applaud them at the end of their performance (no matter how fantastic they are). You are the only ones to be applauded on your special day. The vocalist and the readers can be thanked by the minister.

Bridal Party, if your wedding party is walking in pairs (bridesmaid / groomsman) the bridesmaids should be on the left (bride's side) and the groomsmen should be on the right (groom's side). The ladies should take the gentleman's arm. And the ladies should hold their bouquet at their waist while walk down the aisle, and it should be draped on their right arm during the ceremony.

While waiting for the bride to enter, the bridal party faces the guests. After the bride is handed to the groom and the couple faces each other, the wedding party turns the same direction the couple faces and view the ceremony (side profiles).

The wedding party should stand at attention at all times with the groomsmen holding their right hand over the left or both hands behind their back. They should not be wearing sun glasses, chewing gum, or roasting the groom.

Best Man & Maid of Honor Toast - During the reception (this is off topic), your best man and maid/matron of honor should face you when making their toast. It is offensive when they toast you and all you see are their backs. So provide them with some guidance.

More to come………

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2009 All Rights Reserved

If you have anything to add to this list; kindly leave your comments. I will be happy to add your recommendations.

How to Select a Professional Wedding Planner

2009-05-30T21:36:00.033-04:00

by Zuriana's Elegant Occasions

Why should you hire a Wedding Planner for your upcoming wedding?

Professional Wedding Planners are an invaluable resource. They can help save you time and ultimately money.

Planners allow you and your fiancé the time to enjoy your engagement and help reduce some of the stress of planning your wedding.

I am an advocate for professional Wedding Planners because I know how involved planning a wedding can be. There are so many options to consider, so many vendors to choose from, so many details to think about. Yes those details... I have had many a client say how exciting yet overwhelming the wedding planning process can be.

I had a Day of Coordinator for my wedding. I don’t know what I would have done without her. In hindsight a Wedding Planner would have been a godsend to me, however I did not think we could afford one. I assumed that Wedding Planners were only for those that are “well off”. No way could my fiancé and I afford a planner with only $10,000 to spend on our entire wedding and with us footing the bill.

Guess what, any wedding planner worth their salt will ultimately pay for themselves in the long run. Think of all of the time you’ll save, the great vendor referrals you’ll receive, and the peace of mind you will have from knowing your wedding will run smoothly. That’s money well spent.

So how do you go about choosing a wedding planner? Search for a planner the same way you would search for your photographer, videographer or even your caterer. Do not choose strictly based on price alone.

Ultimately you get what you pay for. Would you trust just any photographer to capture images of your special day? You want a professional planner to guide you through the maze of planning an amazing wedding. After all, you are investing a whole lot of time and money on your wedding.

Interview two or three planners and choose the best fit for you. Some things to look for when choosing an ideal wedding planner:

Look for a Wedding Planner that has experience.

Find out how long he or she has been in the industry.

Has the planner had any formal education?

Does the planner have any professional affiliations such as but not limited to: Weddings Beautiful, June Weddings, Association of Bridal Consultants, Maryland Wedding Professionals Association, National Association of Catering Executives, or International Special Events Society?

Does the planner attend any professional conferences?

Do you like the planner as a person?

Does the planner’s personality and your personality mesh?

Does the planner appear to love what he or she does? You’ll be spending a lot of time with the planner depending on the level of service you desire.

Does the planner present themselves in a professional manner?

Does the planner have a business license?

Does the planner have proof of liability insurance?

Can the planner provide you with any referrals?

Following these guidelines will help you find a professional Wedding Planner that is best suited for you and will allow you to be a guest at your own wedding.

Zuriana's Elegant Occasions, LLC
http://www.zurianasoccasions.com/
(301) 358-1818

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
202.253.3629
revsjb@comcast.net
http://www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2009 All Rights Reserved

Outdoor Wedding Surprise

2009-04-27T13:34:00.093-04:00

During the summer months, many people plan their nuptials outside while allowing the temperature of the day to cling to their skin. Seeing the beauty of these outside events is awesome. And no one knows the sacrifice that is really being made in order to make this special event so fabulous.

So let me give you some things to ponder:

sun, temperature, bugs, weight of your clothes, location, rain, and sweating.

The Sun

Late evening weddings in August is often a surprise, because the sun begins to set sooner. So plan your outside event while the sun is still bright and clear.

Before booking your time with the venue, check to see when the sun will set on your special day.

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/astronomy.html?n=419

And after acquiring your location, take into consideration the sun's position at the time of your wedding.

The sun's heat and direct aim can prove very uncomfortable for a 30 - 40 minute wedding. So select a venue where there is shade or select a time when the sun is setting.

Bees and Gnats

I have done weddings at venues where there was an absence of bugs. And I have done weddings where there was a constant fanning of bees; while the gnats would settle gently in the fabric of the bride's dress. So ask the event coordinator at the venue you choose about their flying neighbors.

Guests

Consider your guests and elderly family members sitting in the sweltering heat while supporting you. The heat can be pretty overwhelming for them especially while dressed in formal clothing.

So provide them with:

Ice cold drinking water
Fans

Start your wedding on time or a few minutes afterwards, but do not delay your wedding more than 10 minutes. It's not fair to them to have to wait in temperatures above 80º.

Aisle Runner

I have watched many inexperienced pullers work hard trying to figure out what to do, while 100's of people looked on. Often times there is no tape, no weights to aid the puller in his task. Even though this may seem like a simple job. It becomes difficult when nature works against his efforts.

To make this job easier, I suggest that you provide him with the right tools.

heavy duty tape

pocket knife (just in case he needs it.)

replacement cord, if the cord is not long enough

colored pouches full of stones, balloon weights, or small votives with lights
(battery operated, not fire) placed at 3 - 4 feet intervals (both sides) to hold down the runner.

The weights will prevent the runner from taking off to distant places across the lawn, while keeping it smooth and straight.

When a runner is used on grass (not suggested), your heels and the heels of your bridal party (recessional) will poke through it. This can cause you to trip, be thrown off balance, and the runner to tear and move.

If you are not planning on wearing flats, wedge heels (on grass), or securing the runner; then forget using one. The aisle runner can be more problems than you can imagine.

The two places where an aisle runner should not be used:

Grass (not easy to secure and tears easily)
Slippery Surfaces (very dangerous).

If the venue's staff warns you not to use a runner on their floors, don't. No one wants you to have an accident, and no one wants to see you on Worlds Funniest Video or YouTube.

Depending on the length of the aisle and the complications of the task, it can take more than one person to execute this job.

Unity Candle

On a nice cool day, hurricane covers will keep the candles from blowing out. However, it takes a long time for parents to light the candles when the wind works against their efforts. The same applies to the bride and groom.

Keep in mind that hurricane covers won't stop the heat from melting the wax and causing the candles to distort and flop under their own weight.

Therefore, I suggest replacing this ritual with the sand blending one. There are many ways to revamp this ritual, so that it can reflect the blending of two families into one. And if you have to have a unity candle ceremony, then buy an oil candle set (I will provide you with purchasing information).

Rain

An alternative indoor plan is always good, but are you willing to make the investment in decorating two locations for the ceremony. Once the venue is setup for the reception there is usually not enough room to move the ceremony indoors. And if you had a custom-designed arch that was built on location, then moving it may not be an option.

So in case of rain, allocate room in the venue for the ceremony. Then make sure that nothing is in that space where the bridal party will lineup (other than the decorations / flowers). This means that the head table would be setup after the ceremony.

Just let the catering staff or event planner know your backup plan, so that they can plan accordingly. Otherwise, your ceremony will be held in front of the head table without enough room for a large bridal party lineup.

Some venues will not allow you to make last minute changes. The decision to have your wedding indoors or out will have to be decided days in advance. So ask your venue coordinator about your options, and get everything in writing.

Sweating

After I perform a summer wedding and stay for photos, I am ready for a shower. And since I have done my share of these I come prepared.

So add to your agenda, a time to change clothes (or at least your under garments), a shower, wash up, or an opportunity to dry off. If you do not bring a change of clothes, then bring a blow dryer to dry them off. This however, is not the best solution.

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
202.253.3629
mailto:revsjb@comcast.net
http://www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2009 All Rights Reserved

If you have anything to add to this list; kindly leave your comments. I will be happy to add your recommendations.

Selecting the Best Bridal Party

2009-04-15T23:30:00.048-04:00

During the excitement of the engagement, emotions run high. And selecting the wedding party becomes spontaneous as you yield to the awe of happiness that flows in and out of your body. So you end up with a melange of attendants. Some of them cooperative, while others are bossy, stubborn, or unreliable.

Now what's a girl to do?

Bridal Party Selection Guidelines 101:

Selecting your bridal party is never an easy task. There are just too many people who want to have roles, but there are only so many to go around. So select your bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid or matron of honor by their character and willingness to help you to create an event to remember.

Your wedding party should be people who are dependable and will not disappoint you for spite.

They should be willing to change if necessary to show how much they want to support you and your partner.

They should be understanding and forgiving.

They should be cooperative and willing to do the work they are assigned.

They should be reliable and willing to show up for the rehearsal and fitting on time, and early for the wedding.

They should not show any resistance to your ideas, but offer suggestions to add to your creative production.

They should be willing to sacrifice their own plans if necessary.

They should be willing to prioritize their schedule.

_____________________________________

Final Guidelines:

Establish a budget for your wedding.

Select your venue, then determine the size of your bridal party. Will the space accommodate a large group or just a small one. A large bridal party in a small space would block the view of your parents.

Create a list of those you want and those who have volunteered. Then narrow that list down to those who are reliable, cooperative, loyal, and have the right attitude. If you allow looks, size, friendship, obligation, or other sentiments to play a part in your wedding party selection then be prepared to wear many hats.

Decide on how much money you will allocate for accessories or amenities, such as makeup, hairstyle, manicure/pedicure, jewelry, yoga class, spa treatment, etc.

Have a backup for those who quit (this is for a small wedding party).

Think about the rehearsal date and time (be familiar with your crew's job demands (not all surgeons will be on time)).

For small attendants, select them by the behavior of their parents, because they will be responsible for their child's attendance.

If you want your bridal party to pay for their clothing, accessories, and amenities, then make sure you select those who can afford it.

Remember; cooperation, cooperation, cooperation, and maybe a little money (those are the deciding factors).

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
202.253.3629
mailto:revsjb@comcast.net
http://www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2009 All Rights Reserved

If you have anything to add to this list; kindly leave your comments. I will be happy to add your recommendations.

Who to Call? Wedding Officiant / Minister

2009-04-12T23:08:00.241-04:00

Finding an Officiant
Selecting an officiant these days is like shopping for wedding shoes. The Internet seems to be replete with directories and websites that are geared towards simplifying your search. With the number of choices out there, how do you decide which one is the best fit for you?

What is an Officiant?
An officiant is a person who officiates a ceremony. This does not mean that the person has had any formal religious training or has been conferred with the title reverend, pastor, or bishop.

Many ministers are call officiants. However, the word takes the religious connotation out leaving it empty and void of spirituality. When I am referred to as an officiant, there is a great deal of respect that is removed at the sound of the word. Since the term wedding officiant is popular, I have to market myself using the term so that couples can find my ministry.

In my opinion, the word was derived from the role of those who received their ordinations online for the sole purpose of performing someone’s wedding. Most officiants who received such instant ordinations, have no religious training, affiliation to any religious organization, nor confess to any particular religion. And some of them, surprisingly, are agnostic and even atheistic.

They believe that the term wedding officiant separates them from mainstream ministers. However, some churches and local courts have rejected online ordinations thereby not permitting recipients to sodomize marriages in their sanctuary or county jurisdiction. The process of self-ordination is viewed (by many) no differently than buying a degree online.

Selecting a Wedding Officiant or Minister
Ordination (check their websites for this information, ask to see their certificate at the meeting, check if they were self-ordained),

Authorization (check their authorization to perform a Virginia Wedding or a DC Wedding),

Flexibility (how flexible are they about making changes to the ceremony script),

Training (how many years did they study to become a minister, is there any proof of their training),

Presentation (do they preach the homily or speak eloquently – a DVD helps, but viewing one can be time-consuming for a 1 hour meeting),

Recommendations (contact recommendations because not all reviews are valid),

Rehearsal (do they attend, and will they coordinate the rehearsal in the absence of an event coordinator),

Cost (is their fee inclusive or is there a separate fee for everything),

Experience (how many years of service do they have),

Number of Weddings (you only need to know if they perform at least 25 wedding/year, any more than that is irrelevant)

Professionalism (at the meeting check out their appearance, body language, and presentation),

Communication (is the person easy to talk with, and does the person respond to emails and phone calls),

Venue (find out if the church your wedding is held at has any requirements for outside ministers)

Backup Minister (No one can guarantee a backup minister, when they are in route to your wedding. Ministers are not cab drivers, accidents happen causing beltways to shut down. So try selecting a minister that is closer to your venue. If you are given a verbal guarantee about a backup regardless of the circumstances, then you have been given false hope.)

Weddings are too important to miss. Therefore, no shows and tartness is not an option. Dependability is a must. If you have any forebodings leading up to the day of your wedding, don't dismiss them. Ask your minister to arrive earlier than usual. And to ameliorate your anxieties, you may even give him/her a particular time. Some ministers (not all) will comply and respect the fact that your feelings are valid. Once the fire is out, be ready to give him/her a generous tip to show your appreciation.

Trust your instincts (does the person seem unscrupulous to you).

Most couples I meet don't question my credentials, they operate on blind trust. Their thinking seems to be that all ministers are honorable. And if not, that's between them and God.

However, try to remember that scams are everywhere, even in the wedding industry, and even in the religious community. And a wedding draws people from all walks of life and a criminal minded person can reap the benefits of being present at your wedding and reception in more ways than one.

So keep in mind, it is easy to become ordain by way of the Internet. But without training, people stay true to who they are and their old ways resurrect when an opportunity is placed before them.
____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
DC Wedding Minister, MD Wedding Officiant, VA Marriage Celebrant
202.253.3629
mailto:revsjb@comcast.net
http://www.startum.com/wedding.htm

©2009 All Rights Reserved

Is this blog helpful? If so kindly leave me your comments.

Wedding Planning for the Superbride

2009-04-10T14:42:00.029-04:00

I Can Do It All By Myself

I receive a lot of calls from brides who don't know where to start in planning their wedding or commitment ceremony. So I decided to share a few tips from my experience as a minister.

Planning a wedding takes a lot of time, attention to details, organizational skills, and patience.

If you are missing one or more of the above attributes, then putting your wedding together yourself will be a very frustrating task. You will be stressed out, unorganized, late, inconsiderate of others, drained, and angry.

So, I suggest that you delegate this task to an experience wedding planner. But if you are adamant about not hiring a planner, then get ready for Stress Management 101, Dealing with Difficult People 102, and Learning from Your Mistakes 103.

It is my belief that wedding planning is team work, and sometimes the players will be the event coordinators at the venue; members of your bridal party, family, or friends.

However, you will need to select one person to pass the baton of leadership to, and that person should be:

someone who is capable of thinking fast and making decisions,
ability to take charge,
organized (this person can only be as organized as you are),
great attention to details,
care about you and your partner,
time conscious,
not easily offended,
can deal with quick changes,
have your best interest at heart,
and care about what she is creating,

If such a person does not exist amongst your friends and family, then you might want to reconsider hiring an event coordinator.

Your wedding day should be a day of relaxation, not stress and anxiety.

________________________________________

Planning Suggestions:

Purchase a wedding planning book (very important),

Create a budget,

Get your marriage license (notice if there is a deadline for use),

Get vendor recommendations from friends or family members who recently got married and get signed contracts from vendors,

Create an itinerary that contains the time lines and details for all vendors (including the minister), bridal party (shower, dress, makeup, hair), decorator (setting up and taking down) and anyone who has a role in the ceremony. Remember that your interim planner will only be as informed and organized as you are.

Buy bridal magazines or use wedding directory sites for:

Venue
Florist
Baker
Makeup artist
Apparel and Accessories
Caterer
Disc Jockey
Photographer
Videographer
Limousine Service
Ice-Carver
Vocalist
Dancers
Musicians
Day-Of Wedding Coordinator
Decorator
Balloon Artist
Invitations
Rings
Programs

Create a webpage for your special day announcing all the necessary information for your guests and participants,

such as:

Wedding Location,
Gift Registry,
Directions,
Nearby Hotels,
Sightseeing information,
Rehearsal details for the bridal party,
Wedding Day Itinerary,
Reception Itinerary,
Age restriction for small guests (with the exception of bridal party participants),
Attire (some people need to be told how to dress),

The above is just a rough sketch with many missing pieces. Remember that I am a minister, on the outside looking in; sharing with you what I have seen from that position.

Hiring an experience wedding planner for this job will be an investment that can prove to be worthwhile. Try to remember that you are not the only one involved. Your future spouse just wants to see the happiness of your face continue from the day of engagement right up to the wedding day.

Faces of stress and temperaments of anger can really challenge a relationship before the marriage gets started. So you decide what’s more important saving your relationship or money?

____________________________________________
Reverend Starlene Joyner Burns
202.253.3629
mailto:revsjb@comcast.net
http://www.startum.com/weddings.htm

©2009 All Rights Reserved

Was this article helpful? If so kindly leave me your comments.